Self-care During the Holidays
When we think of self-care, we often think of bubble baths and pedicures or just something really self-indulgent. And who has time during the holiday season? But self-care is so much more than that. According to the National Institutes of Health, "Self-care means taking the time to do things that help you live well and improve both your physical health and mental health."
One study found that 88% of Americans report that the holidays are the most stressful time of the year. Added financial strain, busier schedules, family gatherings, and pressures to decorate, gift, and entertain are a few things that cause extra stress during this time of year. That's why self-care is even more important during the holidays when we are feeling more stress and strain.
So, if not a pedicure, what does proper self-care look like?
1. Prioritizing sleep
Sleep is one of the first things to go when we feel extra busy with added demands. But sleep is worth prioritizing over almost anything else. Sleep improves our immune function, helps us regulate our mood and behavior, helps us avoid weight gain, and reduces stress. These are crucial benefits all year round, but especially during the holidays.
You may be choosing any number of things over your sleep, but choosing sleep is an important component of your self-care routine. I love to feel well-rested and know the benefits of sleep, but I sometimes have trouble prioritizing it when I am busy. Why? Because, as an introvert, I need time alone to recharge. If I am busy with extra demands and activities, I often succumb to the temptation to stay up late to have a little time to myself. It feels so good in the moment, but the next day I always regret it when I feel myself dragging, or my patience is short because I'm tired.
2. Diet and exercise.
Similar to sleep, the benefits of choosing healthy foods and engaging in regular exercise are many. Exercise is a fantastic stress reliever, and we tend to know which foods help us feel best. And, like sleep, this is one of the first things to go when we are busy.
Exercise can be a challenge because we feel we are too busy during the holidays and something's got to go. The holidays are a time when food becomes more social than ever and is less about nutrition and more about celebrating. There are certain foods we only eat once a year, and I think it's great to make memories and indulge a bit. Sometimes those indulgences don't help us feel great, so try to balance that with foods that do help you feel good, too.
3. Setting boundaries.
Spending time deciding what you want your holidays to look like and setting boundaries with yourself (or friends and family if necessary) is key to self-care.
If overspending on gifts and decorations stresses you out when the credit card bills arrive in January, set spending limits for yourself and stick to them.
Maybe you have more social obligations than you have the capacity to handle. Decide which ones you really want or need to go to and decline the rest.
Some years maybe you don't have the bandwidth for all the holiday things, so perhaps you choose not to send Christmas cards, do holiday baking, or attend your nephew's third holiday band concert. It's okay to give yourself permission to let some things go.
Sometimes boundaries need to be set with family, which can be hard to do. Here's an example.
Four years ago, my oldest daughter planned to get married a few days after Christmas. I knew this was the last Christmas we would have with our original family unit (my husband and I and our four daughters), and I felt a little tenderhearted about that. I wanted to soak up the holiday with just the six of us. We had extended family coming into town to attend the wedding, and my brother-in-law called to ask if they could spend Christmas with us.
We don't live near my husband's family and don't spend holidays together often, so I felt bad saying no. After all, they were coming all this way for the wedding. But I knew that I really wanted to spend Christmas with just the 6 of us, and this was our last chance to do that. If I said yes, I knew I would resent it. So, I said no. My brother-in-law was lovely and understanding about it, and we had a wonderful Christmas. I didn't need to beat myself up about saying no. I didn't need to feel regret for not standing up for what I wanted.
Occasionally, you might not be met with a lovely and kind response to setting boundaries, and that definitely makes it more challenging. But it's still okay to set boundaries that might upset someone else. Sometimes we decide that keeping the peace is ultimately more important to us. It's up to you to determine what is most important. Only you know what matters most to you.
Now is the perfect time to look ahead to the holidays and decide what matters to you and what you need to get through December. What do you want the holidays to feel like or look like? How do you want to feel at the end? Maybe you want the holidays to be simpler so you can feel peace through the season. Perhaps you love the hustle and bustle and all the parties and fun you can possibly fit in. What matters most looks different for everyone. What's important is figuring that out ahead of time and then being mindful about making it happen. There's always a wild card or something we can't control -- so factor that in, too. But knowing what matters most and taking care to support yourself will help you create the holiday season that holds the most magic for you and your loved ones and won't leave you feeling like you need all of January to recover.
