Respectfully Incorporating Global Grief Rituals
A gentle guide to staying culturally mindful while honoring grief traditions from a culture not your own.
I love the beautiful practices of Día de los Muertos, but as it’s not a part of my own cultural tradition I started wondering what the difference is between cultural appropriation and cultural appreciation. In fact, there are many meaningful grief rituals from around the world that we can be inspired by or could want to incorporate into our own mourning, so here are some ways to do that in a respectful way.
First, let’s get clear on the definitions of cultural appreciation vs. cultural appropriation.
Cultural appreciation looks like:
Learning with humility
Taking time to understand the deep historical and spiritual significance
Learning from members of that culture, not just about them
Acknowledging what you don't know
Being open to correction
2. Showing respect through context
Maintaining the original meaning and context of practices
Understanding why certain elements are sacred
Recognizing the living, evolving nature of cultural traditions
Acknowledging where practices come from
3. Engaging by invitation
Participating when welcomed by community members
Following the guidance of those from within the culture
Supporting rather than leading
Being present as a respectful guest
Cultural appropriation looks more like this:
Taking without understanding
Cherry-picking appealing elements without context
Ignoring or oversimplifying complex cultural meanings
Using sacred elements as decoration
Treating serious traditions as entertainment
2. Claiming or profiting inappropriately
Taking credit for traditional practices
Commercializing sacred elements
Speaking over voices from within the culture
Marketing cultural elements without proper attribution or respect
3. Changing or diluting meaning
Removing practices from their cultural context
Mixing sacred elements inappropriately
Ignoring the wishes of community members
Treating traditions as trends
Día de los Muertos as an example
Let’s look at Día de los Muertos as an example of a holiday or grief ritual that we are interested in incorporating into our lives. First, a little history and meaning behind the holiday.
Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) is a traditional Mexican celebration that typically takes place on November 1-2, coinciding with the Catholic All Saints' and All Souls' Days. However, its roots trace back to ancient Mesoamerican cultures, particularly Aztec traditions, that honored the dead for an entire month. Today, Día de los Muertos is celebrated in many Latin American countries, including Guatemala, Belize, Ecuador, Costa Rica, Brazil, Bolivia, and Chile.
Unlike the somber approach to death in many cultures, Día de los Muertos is a joyful celebration that views death as a natural part of our life cycle. It's based on the belief that on these days, the veil between the world of the living and the dead becomes thin, allowing departed loved ones to return and celebrate with their families.
Key elements of the celebration include:
Ofrendas (Altars)
Family members create altars in homes or at gravesites
They include photos of departed loved ones
Decorated with cempasúchil (marigold flowers), whose scent is believed to guide spirits home
Feature favorite foods, drinks, and personal items of the deceased
2. Traditional Elements
Pan de muerto: special sweet bread made for the occasion
Calaveras (skulls) made of sugar or clay, often decorated colorfully
Papel picado: intricate paper cutouts that symbolize the fragility of life
Copal incense: used to purify the space and guide spirits
The celebration demonstrates how death isn't seen as an end but as a continuation of life's journey, where loved ones are remembered and honored with joy rather than solely with mourning. Families often share stories about their departed loved ones, eat together, play music, and sometimes even sleep in the cemetery to be close to their ancestors.
Today, while the holiday has gained international recognition, it remains deeply meaningful to Latin American families and communities, serving as a time to strengthen family bonds and keep cultural traditions alive across generations.
The Disney movie Coco takes place during Día de los Muertos and is a beautiful representation not only of the holiday but of Mexican culture and tradition. So that might be something to check out if you haven’t seen it. It’s a tear-jerker, to be sure, but it showcases the bond we can feel with ancestors after they are gone and the significance of honoring them.
Cultural Appreciation vs. Cultural Appropriation specific to Día de los Muertos:
Appreciation: Learning about the holiday's meaning, creating an ofrenda to honor your own loved ones while respecting traditional elements, supporting Mexican artists and businesses
Appropriation: Wearing sugar skull makeup as a Halloween costume, selling "Día de los Muertos party kits" without cultural context, mixing sacred symbols with unrelated holiday elements
Other Global Traditions
Día de los Muertos is one beautiful example of a global grief tradition or ritual, but it’s not the only one. Some other meaningful mourning rituals from around the world that could be fascinating to learn more about include: The Japanese Obon Festival, Jewish Shiva, Hindu Death Rites, South Korean Jesa, and many African ancestral traditions that vary by region and culture.
A few things that unite each of these practices are the role of food and shared meals, grief practiced as a community, the importance of establishing physical spaces for remembrance, maintaining connection across generations, and a careful balance between sorrow and celebration.
Things to consider as you incorporate grief traditions that aren’t your own
How non-Latino individuals can respectfully engage with Día de los Muertos:
Learn about the true meaning and history
Support Mexican-owned businesses if purchasing supplies
Consider attending community events when invited
Focus on honoring your own loved ones while respecting the tradition
Thoughtful ways you can be inspired by grief traditions from other cultures:
Create personal rituals inspired by (but not copying) traditions
Focus on universal themes of remembrance and honor
Ways to blend meaningful elements from your own heritage
Here are some things to avoid:
Using sacred symbols without understanding
Treating cultural elements as decorative only
Commercializing or trivializing spiritual practices
As we navigate our own grief journeys, learning about how different cultures honor their loved ones can illuminate universal truths about love, loss, and remembrance. While we must be mindful not to appropriate sacred traditions, we can let them inspire us to create more meaningful ways to remember our own loved ones.
Perhaps the most powerful lesson we can learn from traditions like Día de los Muertos and other global grief rituals is that death doesn’t need to end our relationships with the people we love. Whether through shared meals, storytelling, or creating spaces for remembrance, cultures around the world show us that keeping bonds with our departed loved ones can be a source of joy and connection, not just sorrow.
As you consider your own grief journey, remember that the most authentic rituals are those that:
Honor your personal connection to the deceased
Respect your own cultural heritage
Draw inspiration without appropriation
Create space for both mourning and celebration
Feel meaningful to you and your community
In the end, grief is both deeply unique to you and universally human. By approaching other cultures' practices with humility and respect, we can learn new ways to keep our loved ones' memories alive while contributing to a more understanding and culturally mindful world.
What matters most is not which traditions we follow but that we create space to remember, honor, and celebrate those we've lost in ways that feel authentic and meaningful to both our hearts and our heritage.
