May’s Recommended Reading: The Power of Regret

When I work with clients in grief recovery, one of the big things that frequently comes up are feelings of regret. The reasons why we feel regret can be endless and varied. We are often haunted by thoughts of things we wish we had done differently, things we wish we hadn't said, things we hoped we had more time for. In fact, I often tell clients that any time they find they wish something was different, better, or more -- that is a sign of unresolved grief. When we say we wish something was different, better, or more, we are really saying that we regret the way things are. 

In his new book, The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, Daniel H. Pink examines regret and how we can use it to propel us toward positive change instead of using it as a blunt instrument to beat ourselves with. Pink discusses the most common regrets that people have in life, the different types of regrets, and how to move beyond them.  

One of Pink's findings that interested me most was that most often, people regret things we didn't do more than things we did do. 

"I wish I had gone to visit my grandpa one last time."

"I wish I had told her how I felt about her."

"I wish I had started lifting weights when I was younger and stronger."

"I wish I had gone back to school when I had the chance."

Our inaction is what ends up haunting us far more than our actions do. Knowing this and how to turn our past regrets into future action can really spark us to live fuller, richer lives. And that's why I am recommending The Power of Regret for May. 

If you have regrets that you can't let go of, working through the Grief Recovery Method with me can help you resolve those feelings of regret so you can move past it with more peace and forward motion. Schedule a free consult Zoom session with me HERE.